Since this question relates to your frame of mind, here’s some food for thought about the things we tell ourselves. Did you know that 16% of our self-talk is positive? That means a whopping 84% is negative! And that means we’re far more likely to hold ourselves back by being our own worst enemy than propel ourselves forward by being our own best advocates.
Hopefully you’ll join me in refusing to listen to the 84% and embrace the 16%. This is easier said than done. Here’s one method you might use to move out of your ‘dark side’. Make yourself consciously aware of your negative thought; stop; acknowledge the thought then repeat it in the positive. Next give yourself an example or two of why the positive version is a possibility. Then instruct your brain to remember the positive version in the future. Does that sound a bit crazy? Try it and you’ll see that it works over time.
For the skeptics out there, here are some specific, practical steps you can take to become more positive.
Vision, Purpose, Intention:
Instead of saying critical, forceful words like I need to, have to, should or must; say I am, I plan to, I choose to, it’s important to me that ‘x’, I’m committed to, I am practicing, I now ‘x’, it’s time to. This keeps the statements future-focused and true to you. Many times affirmations fail to work because, for the most part, they’re thoughts we think we should be thinking.
Think about your life, career and future as a child might. Ask questions like: How can I? How might we? What can I/we? I wonder, What if? NOTE: The word ‘and’ moves us toward possibilities; the word ‘but’ knocks out wonder. When you use the word ‘but’ everything you’ve said prior to that is negated in the listener’s mind; they only focus on what you’ll say next.
Some other important word changes to transform weak thoughts into powerful thoughts and create more positivity are:
Instead of should, say could Instead of we will/I will, say we do, we are, I do, I am
When you need to correct a situation, instead of starting with 'you', say I noticed.... That one simple act would eliminate much of the defensiveness in the world as it helps keep the focus on behaviors instead of the person.
Each of us is gifted and talented and capable of accomplishing great things. Think and Dream BIG. Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. Stay positive!